I wanted to like The Devil Cats. I really fuckin did. What was being referred to as "Spinal Tap for girls," I thought for sure it would be awesome. It was not. Yes, there were a few funny lines here and there, but the style, the characters (if you would call vapid amoeba-like creatures that) and the plot have all been done before. Yeah, of course most films these days are (in)direct remakes of movies past, but if you're going remake it you got to at least make it well.

When it comes to improv I am a tough critic. I go to the church of Christopher Guest and I pray to Larry David. I simply love anything and everything improvised mainly because it seems so real and original. The material is then raw, not "manufactured" so it will test well. It's fair to say my standards are high. Imagine I dropped my standards, oh I don't know, two, three levels or so. After The Devil Cats I was still disappointed! Surely they could come up with better stuff than that! They're actors they, like, take classes and shit - they were chosen to be in the movie, but they sink along with it.

The Poitier (writer/director producer Anika and producer Sydney) sisters had the strongest presence in the film. They're good actors and are believable in their roles… it's just that the people they create and their friends and enemies and even well, everyone they come into contact with is just so boring. Quirky? Yes, But in a very safe, accepted way. Been there, done that, and seen it like, fifty times before, son. There was one scene where the "fake" singer of a band was talking about guitar playing and I swear to Buddha he went right into the Jack Black shtick. After that scene it occurred to me that it appeared to be a film that a bunch of friends made -- friends who have not yet graduated high school perhaps.

The film is very disjointed, there's not really any backstory or if there was I don't recall because I was constantly grasping at what the history and relationship of the characters should be. It's good to give the audience some stuff to figure out on their own, but you have to give them something to start with. The characters were bland and not very complex. The lead singer/guitarist Lucy Fur is perhaps the only character with an arc. Save for Annie Rexsick even the characters' names aren't as good as they could be. Hellena Handbasket? Obviously the Poitier is a stranger to drag shows. Anita Mandalay? Dude, even Moe Szyslak knows that one's fake.

You could tell when one of the Cats' supposed distressed sobbing turned into laughing; it was obviously improvised… and not well. It's like watching a performer live on TV messing up during a skit and trying to cover up their laugher. It's funny because it's live and they had only one chance to say it and then move on. With a movie, time is money, but time is time, too. A second, third, fourth take would not be that hard.
The songs were funny only on the surface "Crotchwhopper" simply doesn't follow though and prove to be worthy of its awesome title like Spinal Tap's "Big Bottom."

The film reminded me a lot of Prey for Rock and Roll, which was awesome. It was a "serious" film that was based on "real people," but the way it was dealt with is what made it so good. You don't have to follow an exact historical record to make a good, believable movie. If you did Pearl Harbor would have never been made and Oliver Stone would be in jail. Since the Cats aren't based on anyone they have even more freedom, they can do and be whoever the hell they want. Even if the film was sillier and less believable it would be a step in the right direction.

Another serious component this film was lacking was girl-on-girl action. I mean, seriously, you're going to have a band that contains 6 girls and none of them hooking up? What kind of abuse is that? I mean, really. Had I been cast in the film I would have surely improvised a little somethin' something with one of the Poitier sisters.

I feel like the filmmakers had so many resources and in the end it just didn't come together. It reminded me of a cup of coke that's been out on the counter for a few days. At one point in its infancy it's exactly what you wanted and you were really excited about it, but now it's flat and not nearly as fresh as it was when it was first introduced.

In improv class, after an unsuccessful scene a common remark from the rest of us would be, "…Good effort!"

Well that's exactly what I have to say to Anika Poitier. Good effort. You're talented, you seem to know what you're doing, so just give it another shot. Please. And don't be afraid to make out with Annie Rexsick.

Sponsors: