In an effort to be a totally unbiased news and review source, here is the PRO version of this film.

We Don't Live Here Anymore, starring the two hairiest men since Robin Williams and Bigfoot, Mark Ruffalo and Peter Krause, is one of the most boring, pointless movies we've seen in a long time, and that's including I,Robot. And that was just incredibly awful.

In addition to the fact that nothing happens in this movie, but there are no likable characters, there aren't even any hateable characters. The leads are so boring that you don't give a rat's ass who's cheating on who. Hell, they could have cheated at Scrabble and that would have been more fascinating. There undoubtedly would have been applause if Laura Dern had stabbed Mark Ruffalo to death. It would have put his dismal character out of his misery, as well as the audience. No one would have blamed her. After all, they were living in some podunk town in Washington state. A lot of the great serial killers come from the Pacific Northwest. They can't help themselves - it's just too boring.

The premise of the movie is that there are two married couples - Mark Ruffalo and Laura Dern, and Peter Krause and Naomi Watts. They each have cute little kids, who, while boring themselves, are a lot more interesting than their parents. The two couples are friends - they have to be because there are no other people in this town besides an auto mechanic who must have been magically sent there like Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors.

The husbands are professors at some small, sad, community college and the wives are lazy homemakers who don't seem to do much of anything (think of the President minus his inciting genocide). The children are forced to perform frightening traditional Scottish dances to entertain the adults. Mark and Naomi are having an affair. Naomi's husband knows all about it, but doesn't care, and Laura Dern is just a crazy, drunken slob (again like the Pres.), who often forgets to change her child's sheets when he wets the bed (much like the Barbara Bush). She gets drunk and throws things at her husband because she suspects the affair. Mark sets Peter up with Laura so that when they start having an affair, he will feel less guilty about his own. Apathetic drama ensues. These people are so depressed that they don't even care who is fucking who. This all could have been settled with a big orgy, everyone would have been happy (or at least less miserable), the tension would be diffused and it would have been more entertaining than the unsexy drivel we had to sit through.

The movie did have many important lessons:
" If you fuck the neighbor, be sure to bring a lobster home to your wife to make things all better
" Washington is kind of pretty, if you like leaves
" Some adults should be sterilized
And most importantly:
" If you do your womanly duties, like making babies, and doing a thorough job of cleaning the house, your husband will stop his affair and return to you

The most exciting thing about the movie was the guy standing behind us in line as we were waiting to get in. He was an ornery old bald man, who kept yelling "ADVANCE!" at us every time the line moved. We were later stopped right outside the door as they counted how many seats were left in the theater. We had to wait several minutes, but this was more than our dear friend could bear. Once the woman came out to tell us that we could go in, he shoved his way past us and the people in front of us, yelling, "Open the door, DAMN YOU!" If he had been in the movie, it might have been worth seeing.

RESPONSE FROM A READER:

THANK GOD, WE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE

Thank God, for Shane Snipes! His "Pro" review of the film WE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE may be what will bring me back again to read your publication again. I think it's brilliant having a "Pro" vs. "Con" set to films reviews... I'm, however, intensely disappointed in the shallowness of the obviously naive film goers who did the "Con" version. I've never written to any kind of publication in regards to... well... anything! I am a new Indieville fan (I think) and was looking forward to reading your latest edition when it arrived on my desktop.

After a quick glance at the page I made my decision to begin my reading a review of the film WE DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE by Delia Rimer and Carrie Parrington. The review was empty, immature, and sophomorically written. One could only assume that these two were not big fans or frequent visitors to films that may have a bit of creative substance and artistic value. It's seems Delia and Carrie may have been better suited to be part of the audience for LEGALLY BLONDE 2 or DUMB & DUMBER... films where they did not have to "think", "feel" or respond to actual emotions.

The writers for the "Con" review of WDLHA so clearly missed the poetic depth of this movie and the intensely passionate yet confused characters so beautifully brought to the screen. Based on the absence of it's mention... I doubt they ever noticed the movie's many metaphors (i.e. for crossroads, decisions, responsibitlies, freedom, etc.) that give the film so much significance. Sadly your reviewers were more interested in how the cast looked without their shirts on then the actual content, quality and presentation of the film.

Marriage may not look "pretty" when we consider the acts of adultery that often infest it. Thank,God there are still a few people who are not afraid to make a movie about real people dealing with real life issues and sincere emotions. I would have to ask how your writers how they could so easily miss or dismiss power in the scene where Mark Ruffalo's character pushes his wife (Laura Dern) to the floor while screaming, "Take it! Just take it!" His request for her to 'just feel the pain' was chilling. I wonder how someone could ignore the sadness in Laura Dern struggle to get up off the floor... or the emptiness in the eyes of a child whose parents stay in a loveless marriage... or the mounting jealousy between two couples who each think the other has it better. Even if you don't like the way the actors look or the subject matter of the film... one should minimally be able see that the film was beautifully directed and it's actors were superb. With that in mind I will be sure that I get out of the way as Delia and Carrie join the mindless stampede into see SHARKBOY AND LAVAGIRL and I'll instead save a seat for Shane in the theater where we watch a film that requires a bit more intellect and thought to be appreciated.

Thanks for allowing me my voice,

A remaining fan (I think)

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